What’s really behind the ‘cute little boy’?

When you look at the photo, what did you notice first? The missing drawers or the ‘cute’ little rag boy’ sitting on the floor? Initially it was the drawers that drew me. But as Jane and I chatted our way through the day, the rag boy became the centre of attention.

Yes, you could be thinking it was just sitting there in the corner, seemingly harmless, sort of funny with the cap on its head, hiding from the world. But when Jane opened up as to what her life as a child was really like, it became clear this rag boy was not so harmless after all.

Jane had been given the toy as a child. It used to stand up in the corner, with its head facing the wall. That itself raised alarm bells for me. With its head down, it suggested unworthiness, hopelessness and sadness. The fact that it was a BOY connected to a deep sense that Jane lived with, that she needed to be a boy to get approval from her parents, the approval her brothers enjoyed. She believed she was not good enough to be accepted as she was…

Jane’s parents had been control freaks and Jane had to endure them managing her life, dictating where she went, what she did and who she could or couldn’t hang out with.

So, as an adult, on the upper side of forty, it was now Jane’s opportunity to be set free from some of those issues, through releasing the rag boy.

It was vital for her to honour her own process in deciding whether to keep or release him. She understood the emotional trap up front but something still tugged at her to keep him as he was cute and she had been given him as a special gift.

It wasn’t until a few days later on my return that Jane had decided herself to release him. What a brave courageous step. She decided she was no longer going to be controlled, no longer going to be pulled down in life. She was going to have a voice and express it clearly. The reality is that clutter is not always untidiness. It’s often the fruit of some trauma in our lives. No wonder then, that Jane had her issues with clutter.

It’s very exciting that Jane now certainly has a voice (can’t shut her up!!!) and her whole lifestyle has completely changed.

So, look out for the possible hidden messages behind items in your life and be sure to keep only those that are positive and uplifting!

Happy decluttering! I’d welcome your comments and stories – helen@claritymatters.com.au
Helen xx

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